waiting for something...

this song hits the spot!

2008-08-09T13:10:00.002+08:00

Take time to realize, That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize, That I am on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you, You know it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you

[Chorus:]
If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

[Verse 2:]
Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

[Refrain:]
But I can't spell it out for you,
You know it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

[Chorus:]
If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other but.

[Verse 3:]
It's not all the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

[Chorus:]
If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now
Realize,
realize
Realize,
realize

blabber!

2008-07-07T16:28:00.002+08:00

i was moping this morning when i decided to just study for my advert practical test so that i can be productive..anyway, i was just browsing my email when it suddenly dawned on me that my horoscope folder has 100 messages already and so i decided to tackle it first..

i'm not a believer of this horoscope thing but sometimes it's just fun to read and draw conclusions from there.. so i checked my love tarot just so i can prove my theory that this horoscope stuff is just b**ls**t but i was in for the biggest surprise of my life...

"The King of Wands card reversed suggests that you should try not to torment yourself over the past or over that which you can not control, especially through denial, which could make for a defensive attitude. Be open to a move or to reassessing relationship goals, for there may be little or nothing left to get out of this situation as it stands now. Watch out for a tendency to drown in nostalgia, for reminiscing over past achievements take precedence over planning for future endeavors. That could intimate that the glory days or passionate adventures are all behind you. Use this energy to plug your relationship or love life back into a power source. "

whoa! way creepy! i was really tormenting myself this morning that i just had to call a friend and vent out.. because i'm afraid that my fears will eventually turn out to be real..that we (my ex and I) are not really meant for each other...so what the f**k?? even the heavens are sending signals!

i'm not missing you

2008-07-05T23:55:00.002+08:00

Oh, OhI'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that it's over
What else could it be _____
I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

CHORUS
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call meI'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
It's a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?
I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

Chorus x 2

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to doI know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (it's the best day of my life)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you
I'm so over you
It ain't even a problem

Better in Time

2008-07-05T23:20:00.002+08:00

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'ma be okay

[ Chorus: ]
Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time How could I could I turn on the TV
When there's something there to remind me
Was it all that easy To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna let Hurt my feelings but that's the path

I believe in And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'ma be okay

[ Chorus: ]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you

Yes I will

[ Chorus: ]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

best love of your life but he is not the one....

2008-06-24T22:15:00.003+08:00

my friend apple said this line to me last week and it was only now that the gravity of the statement hit me...

" You may be the best love of his life BUT you are not THE ONE"

can this be true? will this be a possibility... nakakatakot ung answer:( and right now..honestly...

it may be true for us...

thoughts on the question..what is love?

2008-06-10T13:33:00.005+08:00

a question we are always in search for the right answer.. but how do we really know if it's love, lust, infatuation or whatever sh*t?

I've been searching for the right answer the last 6 years..because i thought i've found the one.. but i guess i'm just afraid to accept the answer...

love is simple... it's the expectation and our other human nature that destroys everything it holds true...

Loving means that in order for him to stay..i should love him and never expect anything in return...to just let him be..and believe that he loves me without proof...

otherwise, i should just let him go and accept that we are not meant to be.. and so i did...and i ended up being heart broken...

so what's my story?

I've fallen in love with my best friend, the very person i don't want to lose ever...but this nagging feeling of wanting more made me took the leap..

i was happy..

i've found the person who will be there when i'm sad...

who'll take care of me when i'm sick..

who'll be with me through everything..

but expectations took its toll on us...

i learned to asked for what is fair...the right amount of love..

the story book ending kinda thing..

i expected him to be a hero who'll rescue me from witches and take me to his castle..

i expected him to be more than what he really is..

and i wanted him to love me more than anything and anyone in this world.. that i would be enough to conquer his fears...

I wanted him to feel the love that i have for him...the strange feeling that would make you endure your differences and stay despite everything..

and so it ended... 6 years.. finally over.. no ifs, no buts, no nothing...

and now that i finally answered this question, i finally understood.
Love can't be defined, it can't be explained, nor it can be learned and just pass on the learning to a friend...

we may have the same circumstances but we can never really expect the other person to turn out as we did.. or avoid the mistakes that we did just because we already warned them and poured our hearts to them.. we are alone on this journey..

alone in the sense that we are the only one who can really define it and know if it is love or not..

it is a happy feeling..and the only way we can fully understand it is to risk everything and play along...

waiting for you

2008-06-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

why is it always easy for you to just let me go?

to just set me aside and keep me waiting..haven't i proven myself worthy of everything that you have?

am i not The One?

I've been waiting all my life for you to love me as much as i love you...but you won't budge..won't even reconsider...

and as Sam Montgomery said: "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing"...